Day 27. Discuss a problem that you have or had in the past?
I think a problem I definitely had in the past was “getting over stuff”. I would hold on to the little things in life; someone did me wrong, someone said something offensive, someone else hurt me, someone else left me out, someone else took my words and jumbled them all up and took them out of context, etc. I would hold on to that and want to right all the wrongs. It was exhausting. I cared about what other people thought of me to the point of exhaustion and frustration. I was easily manipulated and didn’t have any boundaries.
I don’t know how it changed. I thought it was something I would have as a negative personality trait for life. I tried to let things roll off me, I tried to “not care” or “consider the source” and not let others bother me but it seemed an impossible task. When I would complain to my BFF Kate, she would say, “WHY do you care??!!!” and I just remember thinking, “HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE????!!!!”
Then, one day … it just hit me. Who and what was important in my life and who and what was not. I would never say 100% that I don’t care what other people think of me because that would make me a sociopath. Of course I have to care about what others think of me to a certain degree but the good news is now I LET THINGS ROLL OFF OF ME, I don’t invest my time or energy in the negativity. If it brings more negativity to my life than goodness, it’s out the window. I make it a point to mind my own business and to not pay attention to what others are doing around me (especially at work) but rather focus on what I need to get done and my performance. I do not get involved in family drama. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
If I see drama, I walk the other direction. If someone chooses to put words into my mouth, I ignore it- what difference does it really make in the scheme of things? If other people want to believe the lies, than that’s on them. If they know me, they know I’d never say anything like that to begin with. If someone leaves me out, so be it- it wasn’t meant to be. If someone tries to manipulate me, I can spot it from a mile away and guilt trips no longer work on me. If someone says something offensive, I either tell them it’s down right wrong or I consider the source and let it go.
I think a lot of this wisdom comes with aging and for that I’m grateful. I think a lot of it comes from being fed up from years of feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by others and their issues. I don’t have many issues and l like it that way. I have only one life to live and I’m going to live mine, not someone elses. I want to carry my own load in this life, not 10 other people’s because they conveniently dumped their load onto me. I want to be happy and want to be around positive people- they say you are who you hang around with and I find that to be so true.