Debunking the Myth of Superwoman

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I don’t know about you, but often times I feel so much pressure to try to be Superwoman.  I feel like I need to do it all.  This need to do it all is only intensified whenever there is a holiday, birthday, graduation, or other family event.  There are times when I get so caught up in trying to do everything for everyone else that I forget to take care of myself.  This then becomes a huge problem.  You see, I have a chronic illness.  I have limitations.  I know that if I do too much, I will end up paying for it later.  Yet, the guilt I feel about not making everything perfect usually wins.  Well, I’m going to try my best to give up any further attempts at being Superwoman.

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Superwoman doesn’t exist.  She’s a fictional character that exists only in the minds of fellow woman who are constantly trying to do everything for everyone.  Yup, I said it.  Superwoman doesn’t exist.  There are days when my house is spotless, I make an amazing dinner, and I am able to organize everything for my family (schedules, college scholarship deadlines, insurance info, etc).  Then, there are days when I stay in my pajamas all day, I let the laundry pile up a little too high, the house is in disarray, and we have takeout for dinner.  Guess what?  Either way, my family loves me.  Things don’t have to be perfect to still be pretty amazing!

I have decided that this Christmas, instead of driving myself (and my husband and son) crazy with trying to make everything perfect.  This doesn’t mean that I’m not going to put in the effort to make things nice.  It simply means that I’m no longer going to compare myself to other woman.  We are all different, and that is what makes us all so amazingly awesome!  We all have different talents and strengths.  I don’t have to try to be like anyone else but myself.

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I love Pinterest just as much as the next girl, but it can often times make me second guess myself.  I see beautiful tablescapes and homemade gifts galore.  I see people who quite frankly are doing Christmas on steroids.  This can lead to me feeling guilty because of all of the wife/mom things that I don’t do.  Well, not anymore.  I don’t need to compare myself to anyone in order to feel worthy.  God loves me, and my family loves me.  I am enough!

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What “Type” of relationship do you have?

This subject FASCINATES me to no end.  I’m talking about you and your significant other.  That’s right, because inquiring minds want to know.  I’m continuously amazed at watching my friends’ and family’s relations ship “type” – no, not interpreting their “Love Language” but more so, .. how they interact with one another and comparing it to how my husband and I function.   There is no right or wrong as long as it works for the couple.  I just think it’s fun to see and observe 🙂

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What I mean is, for example:  My co-worker tells me tonight that she’s super over-tired (we work night shift) because after she had only slept for 4 hours today.  Mid slumber, her husband came into their bedroom, plopped down on the bed and turned on the t.v. and proceeded to watch.  Yes, you read that right.  BUT IT WORKS FOR THEM!  They’ve been married for 28 years and they dated 8 years before that.  Now that would not fly in my house nor would my husband ever even think to wake me up mid-day when I’m sleeping for work.  But please, let me reiterate ~ I’m not judging, I’m just fascinated by the yin and yang of it all.  Each relationship in such intricate details of what works for them and what does not.

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Her husband wakes her up all the time.  However, her husband ALSO cooks dinner for her all the time too.  While mine would never dream of waking me on purpose, he would also never cook me a meal to save his life which I have to admit would be really nice.

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There are good’s and bad’s in every relationship but what blows my mind is what floats and what doesn’t in each separate one.  I’ve known couples that absolutely do not believe in PDA’s whatsoever.  They show NO affection toward one another.  Zero.  Nadda.  Zip.  I love me some good PDA!  LOL!

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Another example, when we are at our family Christmas party and my husband hugs me, holds my hands, or kisses me; there is a quick barrage of “GET A ROOM!” from my siblings.  They cannot understand how we can still be lovey-dovey after 25 years.  To them we are just nauseating.  Furthermore when asked who my best friend is, and my reply is my husband, my family just says “Oh no way!” like that’s a mathematical impossibility.

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I have another friend whose husband definitely wears the pants in the family but he also goes out on every single family outing they have and does it happily.  My husband and I “share” the pants I’d like to think but I often visit my mom or other siblings by myself while he takes a pass and stays home or goes out with his friends.  Quite often, my husband and I fly solo.  It’s never bothered me yet this other friend and her man do EVERYTHING together – from grocery shopping to the movies and everything in-between.

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I have another friend whose husband and her speak rather crude to one another, even calling names in fun.  At first, I was put off by it and felt bad for her until I realized that it is their “thing” and she shoots it right back at him with vengeance and they are a very in love, happy couple.  In fact, that’s one thing that makes them tick, them constantly giving each other a hard time but IT WORKS FOR THEM.

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Do you ever compare your relationship functionality to that of your close friend’s or family?  I do and I find it completely interesting how the inner-workings are so absolutely mindbogglingly different yet work for each separate couple.

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As for me and mine; what works is that whole mushy-gushy thing we got going.  I need him and visa versa.  We like to give each other a hard time him more than me and we like to be tight-knit.  We are always on the look out for one another and have each others back.  We laugh a lot because he’s funny as hell together and enjoy each others company.  When out, we do show PDA and don’t care what anyone else thinks. When we fight, we hash it out right then and there no matter where we are.  We don’t sit idly by and let one another get away with shade.

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In every relationship there is some give and take; I personally think it’s interesting to observe what is given and what is taken and how it’s then disbursed back into the mix.

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What if your pet could only talk to you at midnight for an hour?

What if?  That would be THE coolest thing in the world, everrrrrr!  I have two Dachshund’s; a long-haired female: Bella and a short-haired male: Cozmo (named after Cosmo Kramer in Seinfeld).

I think Bella would tell me about all of her worries, because she’s a little skittish but Cozmo, my #1 BFF would tell me how happy he is, we’d talk about life- because he’s part human.

Cozmo and I would have long talks, he’d tell me that he wished I took him on walks more often and that he wished I never had to leave the house.  He’d mention that he wished he had tastier food and more of it.  He’d really like it if I shared my food with him.

I’d thank him and tell him I think he is the most handsome boy in the world and that he’s my best friend.  I’d tell him I appreciate all the times he’s there for me when nobody else is, and how he has never let me down.  OH!  The talks we’d have, that human little fur ball of mine.  I love them both.

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An acrostic poem using your full name and three words that describe you—good and bad

Write an acrostic poem using your full name and three words that describe you—good and bad— for each letter. For example,

S: sensitive, stubborn, smiling.

A: artistic, argumentative, agoraphobic

M: melodramatic, moody, magical

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~~*~**~~*~*~*~*

ANNEBELLA:

A:  Artistic, Anti-social, Articulate

N:  Naughty, Naive, Nerdy

N:  Nice, Nuclear, Nostalgic

E:  Entertaining, Eccentric, Euphoric

B:  Bizarre, Bright, Baffled

E:  Engaging, Erratic, Exposed

L:  Loving, Loyal, Learning

L:  Lively, Lonesome, Love-Struck

A:  Animated, Affecting, Annoying

 

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Happy Thanksgiving ♥

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Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate it around the world! 

Today I’d just like to take the time to write about what I’m thankful for.  I’m thankful that my family is in good health, we have a warm roof over our head,  the basic necessities of life (not everyone does), and we have a tight-knit family.  I love my kids and husband.  I love my two dachshunds; Cozmo & Bella.  I’m so grateful that my mom is still here with us and I cherish my extended family.

I’m thankful for all the men and women in our ♥ armed service’s ♥ who serve our country whether they are currently deployed or not.  I’m so grateful for their selflessness and love for us, for what they do and how they sacrifice.  It’s because of them, that we are safe and have things to be thankful for. 

From my home to yours, Happy Thanksgiving all!!!

XOXOXOX

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A – Z; Advice for Teenagers

A to Z: Make an alphabetical list of advice for someone who is about to become a teenager.

I’m writing this in the hopes that it touches one person, one teenager.  I had a very difficult time growing up and into the person that I have become today.  I wish I had someone to guide me but did not.  I had to learn everything the hard way so if this help even one person, that would make me happy…

a:  Accept who you are.  If there is something about yourself that you do not like, then know you have the power to change it.  You are in control of yourself.  You and only you.  I’ll add one more here:  Advice.  Take it.  You ask for it, but might not take it – take it from an adult or someone that has been through it before.  They say we all have to learn from our own mistakes, but that gets really old, really fast.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to actually take good advice and not have to go through the pain and suffering?  Advice, it’s a good thing.  Ask multiple people for advice and come to a consensus before making a big decision.

b:  Blaze a new trial!  Be free, be nice to yourself, have fun, have friends, go out and do things; have adventures.  Life is short and before you know it you’ll have a boat load of responsibilities ~ enjoy the “easy” life while you can and don’t be in a rush to grow up too fast.  It will happen on its own, trust in that.

c:  Celebrate who you are; you are unique – there will be friends (and family) that betray your trust but if you are solid in who you are- you will manage to get by.  This is a reflection of them, not of you.  You are just fine the way you are.

d: Destroy your enemies by ignoring them.  Do not lower yourself to their level, it will drive them crazy!  Smile instead, and make them wonder what you’re smiling about 🙂

e: Educate.  Get your smarts on.  Put that before your friends and your boyfriend/girlfriend.  It’s important and you only have one shot at it.  If you apply yourself, amazing things will happen.  It just takes a little effort and concentration.  You got this.  Not only do you have awesome friends, a boyfriend/girlfriend- but you have straight A’s too- you’re nobody’s fool.

f:  Have faith in God.  When you are feeling down, turn to him and pass along your burdens.  He will take them from you and guide you.  Don’t be afraid of change, embrace it.  God will lead the way.  Change is scary for everyone and hard at first but once you get into the swing of things; you’ll wonder why you ever worried to begin with.  Have faith.

g:  Go AWAY from drama.  If you see a hint of it, run in the other direction.  It’s so stupid and pointless.  It’s just a waste of your beautiful energy.  Rather, invest your time and energy into something positive and be productive with your precious time.

h:  Help others in need.  Help out at a soup kitchen or go through your items of clothes or other things and give them to charity.  Help out at a food bank, start a fundraiser, ask what you can do at your church group to help those in need.  The feeling you get from helping someone that has to go without is a feeling like you cannot imagine.  You are generous with your free time and that makes you an excellent person 🙂

i:  Investigate.  Be sure who you are surrounded by.  If you lie with dogs, you are going to get fleas.  Be sure the friends you pick are worthy of you and are good people.  You are who you hang out with.  Don’t ride the fence on this one, be very choosy about who you associate with.  Not everyone has good intentions and are mature enough to hang with you.

j:  Don’t be jealous of ANYONE.  Don’t compare yourself to anyone. You are literally one in a million and amazing and unique.  Have the ability to evolve and grow and realize that comparison is just wasting your precious time.  There is only ONE you.  Period.  End of story.

k.  Knit.  OR find a hobby.  Learn from your mother or grandmother.  Bake some cookies or run in a 5k – decoupage, craft, create, and keep going – let your personality shine through your work and it will be as unique as you are.  You are an original work of art.

l. Love yourself.  I know it sounds corny but be kind to yourself.  WE go through life trying to lift everyone else UP while we bring ourselves down.  You wouldn’t talk to your friends the way you would talk to yourself.  BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND LOVE YOURSELF ~ you cannot be a good friend or boyfriend/girlfriend, daughter, son, sister, brother or anything to anyone unless you truly love yourself.  You love yourself and it will expand everything; your confidence, your ability to love others, and how you treat others and how you are willing to be treated.

m. Save your money.  Sounds silly but now is a good time to start to learn how to be responsible and learn the value of a dollar.  I wish someone had taught me how to manage money better.  Spend some on yourself of course, but SAVE.  Save it up for a rainy day or save some up for a trip- travel so some unknown off the grid place where you can explore and discover new things.  Take lots of pictures of your adventures.

n. Nature, enjoy it in all its glory.  Get out and go hiking, birding, fishing, rock climbing; it’s FREE and it’s good for the soul.  Take as many pictures as you can, post them on-line or submit to a magazine or website for publication!  Really dig deep on this one and enjoy the simple beauty that surrounds you.  Take a trip to a natural historical site and take it all in.

o. Be open to new places and new things.  Step out of your comfort zone and give something new a try.  Does the thought of sushi make you gag?  Give it a try, you may just love it and find yourself craving it.  You’ll never know unless you try.

p.  Photography or poetry?  Try to tap into something new.  Take some pics; we all have camera’s on our cell phone or try you hand at poetry- you can even keep a diary of it on your own private (or public) blog.  I wish I had kept a blog when I was a teen.  Write about your passion and write about what makes you tick.

q. Never quit.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you cannot do something or that you are not good at something.  You do YOU.  Be yourself and do what you want, follow your heart.  If you want to learn how to play the guitar, take lessons.  If you want to join a team at school, go for it.  If at first you don’t succeed, try-try again.  Broaden your horizons.

r. Respect others opinions.  You don’t have to like them, or even agree with them – but be respectful.  This means that you are entitled to your own opinion also (isn’t that great?) and that even though you may not agree with someone, you’ll know in your heart that you can disagree but still hold the conviction in your heart that your own opinion is out there and it’s yours to keep.  Also, sometimes listening to someone elses point of view can widen your perception of a situation and maybe even open your eyes to something that you did not know before.

s.  Work on your self-worth and self-esteem.  It’s not always handed to you, you are not always “built up” in this life, at times we are torn down.  REALLLLLLLYLY work on noticing your strengths and celebrating them.  Know that you are worth something.  You are just as good as everyone else and you matter.  You may not be good at everything and that’s ok- rarely someone is.  Just be yourself and love and accept yourself for who and what you are.  As you grow and evolve you will need this self-worth and self-esteem.

t.  Teach other how to respect you.  Teach others how to treat you and how not to bully others.  You can set the stage for how you are treated in this life; what is acceptable and what is not.  YOU SET THAT STAGE.  You are not going to be a doormat.  You have more self-worth than that and do not accept anything less then the excellence that you deserve.

u.  Understanding that we are all different and all come from different backgrounds.  Race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, creed, politics, etc.  Try to walk in someone elses shoes for a change and see things from their perspective.  Be accepting of others and remember that you are not perfect, nobody is.  Only God is and only God can judge.  Live and let live.

v.  Vent your feelings to someone you trust.  Whether they are happy, sad, frustration, anger, or whatever.  Don’t hold it in, it only hurts your precious heart.

w. Be weird.  Be unique.  Be yourself and don’t let anyone tear you down.  Life isn’t about fitting in with the “in crowd” – you want to remember that these kids you know now might not be in your adult life- it’s better to stand out for your individuality than to be just like everyone else just so you don’t get picked on.  Remember to embrace the weird, those are the fun people, those are the ones that step out of the box and make things interesting.

x.  X-out all of the guilt and shame you have if something happened to you that you had no control over.  If you cannot, seek help from your counselor.  If you are hurting inside from something that someone did to you, there are people to talk to.  You may not be brave enough to tell your parents but you can always tell your closest friend about what happened and how it STILL makes you feel – or you can talk to your counselor, your church, your close family member, a sibling, an aunt/uncle or even your cousin.  Do not carry around guilt and shame for something that you did not do.  X-out and nip that in the bud before it begins to fester and grow into something you cannot handle.  I’ve been there, I know.

y.  YOLO!  So, live your best life.  Be the best person you can be.  Create memories, make your mark- find your passion and give it meaning.  Take it to the next level and set yourself apart from the rest of the pack.  Have conviction in your heart and follow your dreams no matter how impossible they may seem.  You can do anything you want, this is your life!

z.  Zip along in this life, don’t dwell on the small crap.  Don’t let the little stuff weigh you down, that’s unnecessary drama and that’s why they call it the “little stuff”.  Let things roll off your back, choose your battles wisely, let go of what you can and stand up for what you think is really important.  Keep on moving and stay positive – be zippy and positive.  You carve out the life you want.  You can do this, it’s all up to you!

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Journaling ~ Day 28: Favorite Color / Pattern?

Day. 28.  Your favorite color/pattern?

Favorite color is easy:  It’s a show stopper! The brilliant, fiery orange-red colors of the Autumn Maple is nature’s special gift to the fall season. The thick green, lush leaves that offer shade and relief from the sun through the spring and summer months, provides the brightest existing shades of red during the fall season.

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Favorite Pattern:

Another easy one, any type of bird pattern I would love ~ I thought the following was adorable.

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