Day 17. Write a letter to a fictional character:
There is this girl, who is suffering on the inside but on the outside portrays herself as a perfectionist. She hurts people and lies to herself that she did no wrong. She is incapable of being anything less than perfect. She can write you off in a heartbeat and never look back only focusing on herself and her family. She will deny that there is such a things as PTSD, clinical depression, and acute anxiety- even though she is on meds for depression and anxiety. So apparently, it’s ok for her to suffer, but not ok for others to go through their pain and suffering. WE ALL SUFFER DIFFERENTLY.
This girl has burned many bridges but will not cop to it. She has lost many friends but doesn’t see it that way – she feels as if she was wronged, always. She is highly intelligent and presents herself in a professional way always. She plays games with people’s hearts in a way and then says, “I didn’t have malicious intentions” which in her eyes, gets her off the hook every single time. She is unforgiving. So to this “fictional character” I will write:
You think you didn’t hurt me? You had no “malicious intentions”? Well, you hurt me more than words can say. I saw what you did there. I saw it all and I don’t appreciate it. I hope and pray that you find the strength to loosen up and realize that you are not perfect- nobody is. I feel as if you let that go, your life would be so much less stressful and pleasant. You didn’t hurt your friends and family, …. ever? Really. Think about that for a minute and get back to me on that. You hurt people in your support group more than you will ever know because you wont even acknowledge it. You didn’t even share you pregnancy with the family. How could you be so self-righteous and selfish? How could you punish others when you don’t even let them know what they did wrong in the first place? You act like you are perfect but actually you are a passive aggressive weasel. I see you for just what you are and you think you have punished me, but you have not. I am better off for having the toxicity out of my life. I don’t deserve a part time friend. I don’t deserve to be punished for YEARS for God only knows what. I had no clue you were mad but heard it through the grapevine. You are not nearly as clever as you believe to be.
Go ahead, raise your family alone with your new group of “friends” – you know, the ones that are there for you and that you love with all your heart just like a family. They will come and go as well because blood is thicker than water. I just hope and pray someday you have peace in your heart and life and wish you the best. I hope you seek the help you need to realize you are not living in a perfect little bubble and we are all just a pack of no-good losers. You are not above anyone. ANYONE. Just because you present yourself one way, certainly doesn’t mean that you ARE that way. We all know a little better.
May God bless you and your family – I hope you do find lifetime friends, because you are going to need a support system.