Perfectionism and forgiveness

Perfectionism and forgiveness.  Two things that do not go hand in hand.  First I believe it’s important that nobody thinks they are perfect (nor act like they are) because we are all just human after all and we ALL make mistakes.

Is it possible to forgive?  To actually let go of the pain and set that person (and yourself) free?  Yes, I know it is because I’m doing it and it feels great!  I’ve been betrayed by family and friends; we all have but what we do with that betrayal is what determines our future.

You can hold on and be filled with hatred, just letting it fester there until it feels like your insides are going to come apart or you can decide that you are not perfect, that you’ve made mistakes and have been forgiven and it’s time to let go and to simply forgive.  It’s the best gift you can give to yourself.

We are all going through something and that causes everyone to act up and out at some point.  Unfortunately sometimes that is aimed at you and I, and sometimes it’s not even personal- we just so happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Other times it’s intentional for whatever reason and we’ll never know why.  Who cares.  Bottom line, when we are perfect we can do no wrong.  Uh oh, none of us are perfect- we are all far from it.

To be forgiven by someone means we HAVE to forgive others.  It does not mean we have to lay down and be repeatedly abused by this same person, it just means we let it go and are wiser.  Perhaps set up some healthy boundaries with the person, or sometimes we might even have to let that person go for our own health and wellness.  But at least try to forgive because ultimately you are freeing yourself from hurt and pain.

Recently, I was crapped on by a “friend”.  At first, my reaction was “NO, never again- she’s out of my life for good” and then as time went on, she buttered her way back into my heart.  I forgave her, a word was never spoken of this injustice.  I just know better now but I cannot stay mad at her, she simply cannot help herself.  She goes through a lot of heartache herself and I know she was just lashing out at the nearest victim.  Which, unfortunately was me.  I can learn to let go.  I have let go and it feels so good.  Next time it wont catch me off guard, and I’ll forgive her again because we’ve been friends for a long time and I know this is just the way she is.  She can no longer hurt me and I no longer have as much invested in her as I once did but I still love her and cherish the good times that we have.

Hatred, anger, bitter, resentment, revenge, and malice have no place in your precious heart.  That takes a toll on YOUR heart.  So you may be angry with someone but you are only hurting yourself.  Life is too short to waste precious energy on anger.  Watch what happens when you truly forgive and move on.  It’s amazing how good it feels.  Always try to remember that perfectionism and forgiveness do not go hand in hand.  You are not perfect.  Therefore, try to forgive, let go and be happy.




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