A Big Hurt

How do you get over a big hurt?  How do you get rid of the shame, stop blaming yourself, and learn to forgive yourself?  How do you forgive others for what they’ve done to you?  How do you find the right path for growth or even begin to be whole again?  Cuts and bruises heal, but words and actions will scar you forever it seems.  Sometimes it even leaves a mark on your soul.  How does one heal?  Where does one begin?

  • By trusting that you are a child of God
  • By realizing that the actions of others reflects badly on them, not you
  • The person that hurt you is miserable, so they try to take you with them – time to let go and not go along for the ride any longer
  • You can forgive yourself because chances are, it wasn’t your fault and even if it was, you are a child of God- he forgives us our sins and expects us to do the same; even if it means forgiving ourselves
  • Realize your life is a gift.  Try not to spend to much time in the past, each day is a present so celebrate your life and look forward to a clean slate; a clean future free of guilt and shame
  • Take a deep breath and let it go
  • Remind yourself that you are a treasure; don’t let the past dictate your future.  This does NOT define you
  • Be kind to yourself, go easy on yourself, allow that there will be times when you back slide.
  • Keep a daily gratitude journal.  Each night/day write down what you are thankful for.  You can also write down on the left side of the page what your brain is telling you that YOU KNOW is NOT true.  On the right side of the page write down what you know in your heart is correct.  When you are feeling down, re-read this journal- it will lighten your load
  • In order to move forward, you’ll have to face the darkness to overcome it- be brave.  Go there and fight your good fight.  Look it in the eye and call it what it is.  Realize what it’s taking from your life now and don’t allow it to continue.  A lot of times it’s actually there playing in the background of our minds (PTSD), we become forgetful and anxious.  It’s almost as if there is a crank in your wheel (stopping your brain from functioning on what is going on around you).  Pull that crank out – throw it in a fiery pit and let it burn
  • Concentrate on the blessings that surround you; whether that be nature, your kids, your pets, your friends, your family, your hobbies – throw yourself into positivity.  Allow yourself to go there
  • Meditate
  • Seek outside help; a therapist or psychiatrist
  • Do a workbook (self-help)
  • Read self-help books, knowledge is power
  • Reach out to a friend or family member that you trust – vent
  • Take some time for yourself; go for a walk, go to the beach with a good book, try to indulge in your hobbies
  • Instead of posting negativity on social media, try to post your blessings – before you know it, you’ll realize all the goodness you have in your life
  • Forgiveness.  The hardest nut to crack.  Let go of the hurt and pain.  Holding onto hate only makes you bitter and only serves to make you feel bad
  • Forgiving your offender frees your mind and body and opens the door to new blessings
  • Try not to use your past as an excuse for your present negative behavior.  Instead, turn it around and let it make you stronger.  Feel the positive forces at work, let them in
  • Remember that you are just like everyone else; you are good enough, you are brave enough, you matter, you count, you are unique and that’s a good thing, be yourself and let your freak flag fly!!!!!!
  • Relinquish the need to control, chances are you have no control over it anyway – you can only control yourself; not what others think or say about you so live in your own truth, be yourself and be proud.  Know what is true and real and remember that God sees all.
  • You don’t owe anyone an explanation for how you feel.  Your feelings are real and they belong to you, you are entitled to them
  • Stay away from other people’s drama, work on yourself.  Be selfish that way, make it all about you as you heal and find your way
  • Only be treated with the utmost respect, you deserve this
  • Be kind to yourself and to others- you never know what someone else is going through.  We all have our own story
  • Give love but do not be a doormat.  Have some healthy boundaries, they are good for you.
  • Help people out, but only as much as you can- we are all expected to carry our own load in this life and carrying it for someone else is robbing you of the freedom you need to mend
  • Realize this “thing” that has gone wrong/was done to you may have caused some unhealthy patterns in your life, try to identify them and gently explain to yourself WHY you are doing these things and try a different path; blaze a new trail
  • You have self-worth, you will see your self-esteem sprout like flowers in a garden, what a beautiful sight
  • See your future self.  How do you want to be?  Make it a reality
  • There is a lot of work to be done to turn this around.  May God bless you in your journey to wellness.





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