31 Day Writing Challenge #3 ~Day 20: Discuss your favorite movie and why it’s so special to you.

Day 20: Discuss your favorite movie and why it’s so special to you.

This is a hard one for me because I’m more interested in comedy movies and my favorite is Bridesmaids *but* it’s not “special” to me.  So, I’ll try to think of a more meaningful movie.  I think I’ll have to go with “Steel Magnolia’s”.  The cast is incredible and it’s fun, sassy, and heartbreaking all at the same time.

It is a good past time to watch that never lets me down. As many times as I’ve seen this film (and it’s a lot), it never fails me; with tears, laughter and excellent acting and reality. Julia Roberts as Shelby, a special young woman who feels that having a baby is worth risking everything but the real gem and overlooked one in the movie is Sally Field. This is by far and away, her best role and performance she ever snagged, and nailed it.

Among the cast there are very few men, but my favorite is Tom Skerrit, who plays Sally Field’s husband, and father to Julia Robert. Shirley MaClain, Olympia Dukakis, and Dolly Parton are the other three co-stars, that follow behind the three previous, and all make their characters unique.

The basis of the film, is a beauty parlor, and although it might sound hokey, it’s really not. Some might call it a chick flick, but I have to say that I know men have even gotten teary-eyed from this film. It’s wonderfully directed, only in that, it makes you feel apart of the never ending friendship that’s between this group of women. The experiences that they have and the trials and tribulations they go through. Although not the whole movie is set in the hair salon, a good portion of the film is, but it is done in just the right amount, and is written very well.

One of my favorite lines from the movie is when character Clairee Belcher says, “Well, you know what they say: if you don’t have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!”

31 Day Writing Challenge #3 ~Day 19: Something that shook MY belief system to its core (a big disappointment in your life).

Written by Annebella

Day 19: Something that shook your belief system to its core (a big disappointment in your life).

Sadly, I think one of the biggest disappointments in my life is my LARGE family’s lack of communication and closeness.  I am one of 12 kids and we are just not as close as we use to be back in the day.  We ALL live in the same area except for two siblings that live out of state.

Yes, we gather for the 4th of July and for Christmas but that’s about the only time I see them unless I run into them at my mother’s house.  There is no sense of “community” in our family and I just don’t understand why.  There is no celebrating Birthday’s (because our family is too “big”).  I really like how my friend George’s family celebrates their BIG family Birthday’s – they do it by month.  In other words, if 3 have a Birthday in the same month along with some nieces and nephews- they pick out one day and celebrate them all with a big cake and presents.  I should mention this to my mother, I think it’s a fantastic way to have a BIG family but still gather together to celebrate the milestones.

When I was younger, I was the ultimate babysitter.  I babysat for my sister’s kids like there was no tomorrow, even spending the night and their kids would accidentally call me “Mama” at times because I was there so much taking care of them.

I thought that when I had my own child, I would have it made in the shade; that my husband and I would get “date nights’ galore because my sisters would return the favor but to no avail.  They literally dumped me once I had kids of my own.  That was a huge let down.

I realize now with time that nobody owes me anything.  Not a single thing.  I can do for others all I like and they don’t owe me a thing.  If I get something in return, like a babysitter, that’s just icing on the cake of life.  But at the time it was hurtful.

 

31 Day Writing Challenge #3 ~ Day 18: Someone I met randomly that’s made an impact on my life.

Written by Annebella

Day 18: Someone you met randomly that’s made an impact on my life.

When I was 21 I got married and on that same day met my husband’s bosses wife Laurie.  The first thing she did was hug me – we hugged for a while and I knew we were going to be great friends.

This woman is special.  I mean special in a way that makes you a better person just by knowing her and having her in your court.  We use to be so close but as time passes, things change, people grow apart and through no fault of our own, we drifted over time.

With that being said, I cannot say enough what an immense impact she has had on my growth and positive change in my life.  She taught me so many things without “teaching me”, I just learned by watching her excellent example.

The way she was so loving with her two boys; so patient.  So caring and nurturing that I took note and was able to pass that same love and affection on to my own little man.  She taught me that even though they are little kids, they have a voice and they matter; much different from the way I was raised.

She didn’t mind if her boys took their sweet time ordering their dinner at a restaurant or even picking out what drink they wanted.  That showed me to allow the same consideration for my son.  I don’t think I would have been so patient because we were raised to hurry up and not to inconvenience anyone else.  I saw this and it opened up my heart toward my son and my twins.  They mattered!  No matter how young they were.

She listened to me for countless hours as I poured my heart out to her about hurt caused by my family; particularly my sisters.  She never judged and always gave me sound, sage advice.  But she never pushed it on me, she just openly shared her opinion and it was calm, serene, came from only a good place, and made perfect sense.

She encouraged me to be the best mother I could be without pushing anything on me.  That says a lot about her.  She improved herself.  Putting herself through college and becoming a teacher after her divorce which was a difficult time for her but she rose to the occasion and made herself better.  She went through a lot but always remained positive and an excellent role model for me.  She was giving and we have never, ever had one misunderstanding between us.  Even the time I was invited over to her house for dinner and I forgot to go – she called me the next day and we laughed.  She didn’t get mad at me, not one bit.

She doesn’t live far and I need to catch up with her again and see how she is doing.  She has recently married to a wonderful man and I’d like to get to know him better too.  I miss her a lot and plan on changing that.  I love my friend Laurie dearly and thank her for all she has done for me to make me a better person.

Happy 25th Wedding Anniversary to my Husband

Written by Annebella

ANNIVERSARY

What can I say that hasn’t already been said before?  I am in love with my best friend and it occurred to me that I’ve now carried his last name for longer than I had my maiden name.  Pretty cool, huh?  25 years of marriage to the most wonderful man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.

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Here’s to a lifetime of happiness Scott, I’m so glad I have you to call my own.  I love you to the moon and back!

I love you for all that you are, all that you have been, and all you’re yet to be.

~Annebella

 

Fly Away

Written by Annebella

When I was young child I wished I were a bird so I could fly away; not from home, but just so I could be in the trees with a magnificent perspective or flying high above the tree tops to take in all that was going on below.

I thought, and still do think that birds are a rare thing of beauty.  Maybe that’s why I enjoy drawing them so much.  Here are just a few of them:

 

My Baby is Growing Up

Written by Kate

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Today my son surprised me with news that I didn’t think I’d be hearing for another few years. Jake likes a girl, and he has already asked said girl to go see the new Captain America movie with him when it comes out in a few weeks. To say that I was stunned is an understatement!

Why am I so shocked you ask? After all my son is 16 years old, so it’s not as though I didn’t anticipate this eventually happening. It’s just that Jake hasn’t really showed a lot of interest in girls. Whenever I try to ask him questions about girls, he always says that he is too busy to date. Truth be told, he is a very busy kid. He’s taking 2 A.P. classes, an honors class, working towards achieving the rank of Eagle Scout, and he’s very involved in youth group at church.

So now here I sit stunned, scared, and hoping that the aforementioned girl doesn’t break my son’s heart. That has always been one of my biggest fears as far as my son is concerned. He’s extremely caring, loving, and giving. I would hate for some girl to take advantage of my sweet boy.

I’m forced to realize that my baby isn’t really a baby anymore. He doesn’t need me as much as he did years ago, and I hope that I’ve given him roots and allowed him to sprout his wings. I’m not ready for this, but I’m happy for him. I mean, it could be much worse – especially because he met the girl at church.

How do you prepare for your kids to date? If you have any advice, I would love to hear it. This momma is scared! Plus, now I feel old, and that’s just no fun for anyone.

31 Day Writing Challenge #3 ~ Day 16: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

Day 16: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I use to be a “people pleaser”.  I would be in the middle of painting and my sister would call and I’d drop everything I was doing to suit her needs and not my own.  I did not know how to say no.  Until one day my therapist suggested I read “Boundaries” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.  BEST book I ever read for someone like me with no boundaries.  I didn’t know where I began and someone else ended. I was so sure someone would be disappointed in me if I told them no that I’d always just say yes, even when I didn’t want to.  Then, I’d end up resenting the chore or thing I was doing because I didn’t want to be doing but I’d never say a word.

boundaries

If I did say no to someone I was wracked with guilt.  I’m fairly certain that the people in my life knew this about me too and took advantage.  Because AFTER I read the book something occurred to me; IF other people can nicely tell me no to a request (and not feel bad) then that meant that so could I.  I HAD BOUNDARIES TOO.  I began to say no to the things that were highly inconvenient for me or that I didn’t have a desire to do.  Oh, and those people in my life that knew I was their “yes girl” didn’t like it at all.  But, I told myself that if I respect them when they tell me no, that meant they were going to have to respect my “no” as well.  I was just as entitled as everyone else.

That didn’t mean I stopped caring and stopping doing for others because I am a giver.  However, in those situations where I caught myself not being able to help or not being able to help due to circumstances beyond my control; I was going to FINALLY be able to say no.  And just as I respected those that told me no over the years, I would get that same respect and even if they didn’t respect it- I would respect and honor myself.  I mattered too.

“Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances — Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions — Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others — Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God’s will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator — Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask:

– Can I set limits and still be a loving person?
– What are legitimate boundaries?
– What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries?
– How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money?
– Aren’t boundaries selfish?
– Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries?

Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.”

I began to grow a backbone so to speak.  This gave me confidence in other areas of my life as well.  I was beginning to see things in a whole new light.  I didn’t have that horrible guilt anymore either.  It was exactly what it was – no means no.  I was no longer going to spread myself so thin that I didn’t have time for myself and my family.

For anyone out there that has a hard time with saying no, or are a people pleaser- this is the book for you.  It’s therapy and the best that you can get.  It was an easy read and made perfect sense.  There is also an awesome workbook available.  It cured me of my need to be “liked” and to always be available to everyone for everything.  Now I say yes to things that I WANT and CAN do with a happy heart.

Ebb & Flow

Written by Annebella

Yass!  It’s that time of the month where I talk about getting my period again.  Ebb and Flow, as in “Aunt Flow”- LOL!  Why?  Because it affects me so negatively.  Last Saturday I had such big dreams and ambitions about getting things done around the house but low and behold “PMDD” or “PMS” (whatever you want to call it) hit me like a mac truck.  It was the nicest day of the year thus far, 80 degrees and sunny with a warm breeze.  I couldn’t physically get out of bed because my ovaries hurt, my boobs were tender and painful, and I had a headache, and I though my back went out.  I had no idea that it was PMS, it just felt like depression because the emotional symptoms were worse than my physical symptoms.  My desire to get out of bed and get going was gone.  Nil, None, Zero, Zilch.

period

I layed there crying.  I felt hopeless, worthless, and like a pure failure.  I felt ugly; hideous.  I felt like hiding under the covers for the entire day but it was already 11a.m. when the hubs called to check in on me and see what I was up to.  When I told him I was still in bed he was shocked!  He told me to get out of bed and enjoy this beautiful day.  I just began to cry, to sob and tell him that I didn’t feel good.  He knows what that means.  I stayed in bed until about 1pm that afternoon.

When he came home he asked me when my period was due.  I said, “NOT UNTIL OUR ANNIVERSARY” which is the 26th.  He looks at me, smiles, and says, “That’s in 7 days!” and I couldn’t believe it.  It was my damn period.  A huge sigh of relief swept over me because I thought I had fallen into a deep pit of depression.  It was comforting to know that even though I was highly uncomfortable, that at least this storm would pass.  I’m usually my very worst approximately 7-8 days before I actually get my period.

Does ANYONE out there go through the same thing or at least something similar?  It gets so bad that I cannot even go into work sometimes.  I have to take a “physical pain” and “emotional” day off to re-group and get back on my feet.  I cannot tell my boss that but even though I’m in dire physical pain, I think the emotional pain is worse.  The fear, the paranoia, the low self-esteem, the not wanting to be around anymore, the heavy depression and anxiety.  I swear, all I want to do is bury my head in the sand, and cry.

Is this just something taboo to talk about?  Or do you feel uncomfortable leaving a comment talking about your menstrual cycle?  If so, please don’t feel embarrassed.  I write about it all the time because it comes and wreaks havoc on me each and every single month.  Maybe once and a blue moon I will have little to no symptoms but each time it catches me off guard and I even have the “period tracker” app on my phone.  So, you’d think I’d know it was coming and how to deal- yet I don’t.

I recently read this article in “The Sun“.  “UK company’s new ‘period policy’ set to give women time off work during their monthly cycle”.  Beautiful that they are recognizing the pain and agony that some women suffer each month.

Don’t know if it’s true or not but it’s definitely something I believe is a positive. I realize that not every woman suffers but some do, like me- and it’s kinda like the difference between someone getting a headache that can be fixed with a Tylenol and a severe Migraine that requires Rx, a dark room, an ice pack on your head, and no noise whatsoever.  That’s the difference between PMS and PMDD to me.  I have never been diagnosed with PMDD because each time I’ve brought it up to my Dr., I get brushed off as if it’s no big deal or not even possible.  The last Dr. said, “You wont have to worry about that for much longer” referring to my symptoms because I’m 46 and should go through menopause soon, seriously?  Seriously.

  

31 Day Writing Challenge #3 ~ Day 12: Something you hope to change about yourself and why

Written by Annebella

Something you hope to change about yourself and why:

The one thing that sticks out the most *there is definitely more than one thing I’d like to change about myself* is living life a little more than I currently am.

I work nights and find it too easy to go home and go right to sleep wasting the day away.  Technically, I should get off work at 6:30a, go home and get some cleaning done.  I should do some crafting, or go out with friends in the morning but instead, I find my bed calling my name “ANNEBELLA!!!” – it’s hard to resist after a long night and let’s face it; I’m not getting any younger.  I’m finding that the night shift may have run its course for me personally.  I’ve been doing this for 13 years and started off doing it as a way to earn money but not afford day care for my kids when they were 11 and 7 years old.  They are now all grown and I should be working a day shift.

So, I’d like to be more productive – or get a day job with normal hours so I can live on the same side of the clock as the majority does.

I don’t think having depression helps with my desire to sleep the days away.  That’s a struggle in and of itself.