I think this is the part where I’m supposed to write that giving birth to my 3 kids is my most proud moment and it is without a doubt right up there in my life but there is something more important than that, that I have done. I have learned to love myself. There is an old saying, “You cannot love someone until you love yourself first”. Old saying and a bit corny but oh so true. I’ve always loved my family and friends but this time in my life I’m able to give more than I ever have and also step out of my comfort zone to give even more unconditional love.
Well, it took approx. 45 years to learn to even like myself. Now, I’m at a place where I do love myself and I see all the good in myself and I’m not going to let anyone rob me of this joy in this life for one more second.
To go from being suicidal to being able to actually love myself is a hurdle that I never thought I would accomplish in this life time. I never thought I could heal. I never thought I could be whole. Depression, anxiety, OCD, and PTSD robbed me blind for too many years. Now with therapy and being on the correct Rx’s has made all the difference in the world. It’s like, all the good advice over the years, the counseling and great intentions from others finally CLICKED at once and helped to save me.
There are things about me I never acknowledged. I am smart, I am beautiful inside and out. I am an artist, I am a proud mother of 3 beautiful children. I have a best friend in my DIL and a gorgeous granddaughter that I’m so proud of. I am independent. I am capable. I am strong. I can handle my own self. I wont let someone walk all over me because I do count, I do matter. I am a child of God. I’m going to continue to do good things and when I die, I’m not afraid, I’m going to fall into his loving arms. I am exactly who I am supposed to be for a reason, God made me this way. I’m flawed but just as everyone else. Life is good. Loving yourself might be a rough road, but it’s worth every struggle to get to it and once you’re there- you’ll never settle for anything less. I am worthy. I have made it.