30 Day Blog Writing Challenge: Day 28

Day 28.  What is something / someone that you miss?

I miss my father who passed away from a massive brain bleed in 2004, the day after Christmas.

I was at his house the day after Christmas and he was telling me how much his legs hurt each time he went to stand up.  He gave me a Christmas present.  It was a navy blue corduroy feather filled throw.  It was so nice.  I asked him if he “over-did it” the day before and he did, he was installing a new t.v. in the basement.  I chalked it up to that (big mistake).  He stated he had a call into the E.R. to have his Dr. paged but nobody ever called him back.

After I left their house, I went shopping with my eldest son David for some after Christmas bargains, and when I got home my phone rang, it was my brother-in-law and he told me that my pops had had a stroke and was in the hospital.  We all rushed to his bedside.  It didn’t look good.  The whole entire room was FULL of his kids and their children.  He was surrounded by love.

I’m one of 12 kids so imagine the crowd around this much loved man’s bed.  At this time he had approx. 30 grandchildren all who loved and cherished him as much as his own children did.

My father had been in and out of the hospital in his late stages so I truly believed that he was going to be ok.  I thought for sure this was just another hiccup in his road to recovery.  I was wrong.

My dad lost his battle on Dec. 26th 2004 and has been sorely missed ever since.

There are so many things I miss about my father.  I miss his very being.  I miss his essence.  I miss the good man that he was.  I miss him welcoming us into his home every single time we visited.  I miss our small talk.  I miss his moral compass, his hard work ethic, the man that he was and what he stood for.  I miss his smile and his enthusiasm for life.  I miss his 4th of July parties that he threw with such zest and verve 🙂

I miss his kisses and hugs.  I miss him always being just a phone call away.  I miss his knowledge of life and all things.  He was a true carpenter, a fixer of all things, he could make something beautiful out of spare parts that he collected.  He wasn’t a carpenter by trade, but through having such a large family ~ really knew his way around his tool shop.  He was organized and knew where each and every tool was.   From building an addition onto a home, to building me a gate for the top of our basement stairs out of scrap wood so my kids wouldn’t fall down them.  I still have the gate up even though my kids are grown; I will never take it down.

I pray for him all the time and tell him how much I miss him but I sure wish I could tell him I love him one more time just so he knows.  I wish I had a chance to say “so long”.

Love and miss my dad all the time!

writingchallenge

a11111

30 Day Blog Writing Challenge: Day 27

Day 27.  Discuss a problem that you have or had in the past?

I think a problem I definitely had in the past was “getting over stuff”.  I would hold on to the little things in life; someone did me wrong, someone said something offensive, someone else hurt me, someone else left me out, someone else took my words and jumbled them all up and took them out of context, etc.  I would hold on to that and want to right all the wrongs.  It was exhausting.  I cared about what other people thought of me to the point of exhaustion and frustration.  I was easily manipulated and didn’t have any boundaries.

I don’t know how it changed.  I thought it was something I would have as a negative personality trait for life.  I tried to let things roll off me, I tried to “not care” or “consider the source” and not let others bother me but it seemed an impossible task.  When I would complain to my BFF Kate, she would say, “WHY do you care??!!!” and I just remember thinking, “HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE????!!!!”

Then, one day … it just hit me.  Who and what was important in my life and who and what was not.  I would never say 100% that I don’t care what other people think of me because that would make me a sociopath.  Of course I have to care about what others think of me to a certain degree but the good news is now I LET THINGS ROLL OFF OF ME, I don’t invest my time or energy in the negativity.  If it brings more negativity to my life than goodness, it’s out the window.  I make it a point to mind my own business and to not pay attention to what others are doing around me (especially at work) but rather focus on what I need to get done and my performance.  I do not get involved in family drama.  Not my circus, not my monkeys.

If I see drama, I walk the other direction.  If someone chooses to put words into my mouth, I ignore it- what difference does it really make in the scheme of things?  If other people want to believe the lies, than that’s on them.  If they know me, they know I’d never say anything like that to begin with.  If someone leaves me out, so be it- it wasn’t meant to be.  If someone tries to manipulate me, I can spot it from a mile away and guilt trips no longer work on me.  If someone says something offensive, I either tell them it’s down right wrong or I consider the source and let it go.

I think a lot of this wisdom comes with aging and for that I’m grateful.  I think a lot of it comes from being fed up from years of feeling frustrated and overwhelmed by others and their issues.  I don’t have many issues and l like it that way.  I have only one life to live and I’m going to live mine, not someone elses.  I want to carry my own load in this life, not 10 other people’s because they conveniently dumped their load onto me.  I want to be happy and want to be around positive people- they say you are who you hang around with and I find that to be so true.

writingchallenge

a11111

30 Day Blog Writing Challenge: Day 26

Day 26.  If you had $1,000,000 to spend, how would you spend it?

I’ve answered this hypothetical question before on my blog but basically I’d take care of my mom and family, our good friends, and then start up a foundation or charity with a big chunk of it.  We’d live simply as we do now, but just not be so burdened with bills and such.  We would definitely have to travel as well.

Here’s the 30 day blog writing challenge that I’m currently working on, please feel free to join in if you like:

writingchallenge

a11111

Rant *Warning*

Oh, I’m feeling rather bitchy snarky here tonight.  Don’t read if you are sensitive and especially if you cannot tolerate foul language.  What a feeling, like all the little hormones are running rampant through this body of mine creating all kinds of chaos.

It’s going to be a looooong night.

I need to get a root canal done on my upper right molar.  I’m in distress about the process and am terrified of the dentist to begin with.  Just thinking about it I begin to shake.  This will take place next week.  I do realize, that in the scheme of life that a root canal is small potatoes and try to keep my emotions to a minimum every time they creep up.  I don’t think it helped that I watched a “youtube” video on the procedure today out of curiosity and it drove me into a terror.  I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE A ROOT CANAL DONE.  Period.

dentist-of-pain
“Get that fucking needle away from my face!!!”
I’m totally sick of fb.  It’s sooooo boring and I’m sick of all the political posts from a few people in particular.  I just want to reach through the screen and throat punch them for being so ignorant.  It’s one way to feel the way you do about someone (someone in politics) but to repeatedly post it day after day – made me retaliate tonight with a nice little meme of Donald Trump just to get them going.  LOL.  I cannot stand people.

frustrated-face-emoticon_191859

I have nothing good to watch.  I have gone on every kind of Netflix binge that you can imagine and have no more good, intriguing shows to captivate me.  Everything from Walking Dead, to Orange is the New Black, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, Scandal, Blue Bloods, Nurse Jacky, Schitts Creek, Gilmore Girls, Bates Motel and more.  I literally have nothing to watch and that makes me bored.  Yes, bored.  NO I DON’T WANT TO READ SO SHUTTIE!

I work in a fast paced high energy office where you have to be on top of your game daily.  It’s a position which requires you to be here at your start time due to shift change.  Ever had a job where the same people are late every. single. day.?  Really.  Really?  It’s gets so old.  WHY, for the love of all that’s holy can they just NOT set their alarm clock for 15 minutes earlier every morning?  The rest of us manage to be here with plenty of time to set up and get ready for work – and actually START doing our job at our start time.  WTF?  I mean, really WTF!  And this one!  Oh, she’s something else, she has an excuse nearly every day.  Hand to God, “There was a deer just sitting in the middle of the road” to “I could not find a parking spot” to “I got pulled over” to “It’s so windy out there” to “something something about BATS” and more…. too many to list.  Excuses coming out of her butt.

I cannot even look at her.  I cannot even stand to hear her talk when she screws over her co-workers (including myself) every single day by coming in late and not giving a shit about anyone else but herself!  We are told not to wear perfume to work due to other people with possible asthma, allergies, etc.  She comes in every day wreaking as if she bathed in her perfume even after numerous emails from our boss.

How is this possible?  How is it that people ALWAYS get away with whatever they want to and screw everyone else, they don’t care!  And why is it that nothing ever changes?  I mean, if management was on top of their game- they would have given a verbal warning because they see the time sheets every day, right?  Then when the verbal warning didn’t work- they should go to a first write up, then a second?

But no, none of that’s happening because these SAME two people come in late every single day without fail.  Yes, I’m irritated.  No, I don’t want to calm down right now.  I just want to sit here in my wrongness.

I know I’m not technically “wrong” but I do  need to mind my own business and why get upset if nothing is going to change anyway- some things are just out of my control.  Right now I’m choosing to be upset.  Oh well.  I need to vent.

Chuck it in the fuck-it bucket.

rare

a11111

30 Day Blog Writing Challenge: Day 25

Day 25.  Discuss someone that fascinates you and why?

My daughter.  She is nearly 21 and serving our country in the US Marines as an aircraft avionics technician.  She blows my mind.  She is so young and has seen and done so much already.  She was really excited about becoming a US Marine.  She had such high hopes and was so full of pride and excitement as she ventured off into her new life.  She was so young, hadn’t even graduated H.S. and was talking about joining.  She graduated early so she could join.  Funny thing, I didn’t worry about her ~ it seemed to be her destiny.  She was so sure of herself and her ability.  The US Marines made her rise to the challenge but she persevered.  They put her through the rigors and tested her physically and mentally, but she rose to that challenge and went above and beyond.

She has been promoted a few times.  She has shown excellent leadership and they are acknowledging this in her.  She is small but fierce.  She always has been since she was born.  She is beautiful inside and out.  She has a “go with the flow” attitude in this life and always gives great advice when we are talking which comes as a surprise; because her advice is so “chill” and always helpful.

She is strong.  Despite several health difficulties she pushes through her personal speed bumps.  She works out constantly, through the pain.  She has been a vegetarian since the age of 9 and I definitely accommodated her growing up.  She is passionate about animals and their treatment and well being.

She wanted to learn how to ride a motorcycle so she took lessons.  She has jumped out of a helicopter into the ocean as a volunteer.  She has volunteered through the Marine Corps. on so many different occasions, even overseas.

She is a firefighter as well.  She volunteered separate and fully on her own, without the US Marines, she did this in her spare time.  She is a fully certified firefighter!!!  She is highly intelligent and that also requires her to study hard.  She works hard for everything she has received.  She not only has book smarts, she has street smarts and is great at matters of the heart.

She is honest and has great moral integrity.  She makes me proud every day and I’m so lucky to be able to call her my daughter.  I look to her with utter amazement and wonder what makes this chick tick?  She’s amazing!

She definitely someone that fascinates me.

writingchallenge

a11111

47

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day but also my 47th Birthday.  It was a GREAT DAY.

  • LOVE from my sweet husband for the entire week.  Valentines cards, at least 10 of them (FROM HIM) with my name written differently on each card (as if I have some sort of fan club ~ *snort*).
  • Breakfast made for me by my DIL and spent with my granddaughter as well.  A massive cheese cake from The Cheesecake Factory from her and my son Dave; peanut butter and Butterfinger candy bars in the mix 🙂  Also, a gift certificate to get my nails done.
  • Sweet card and cash from the hubs and my son Zach – to put towards what I wanted to buy for myself – so thoughtful.
  • Pink roses from my friend and co-worker plus Hershey’s chocolate too.  Then last night she brought in more candy and a beautiful necklace and matching earrings to boot!  I felt so spoiled.
  • my friends/co-workers decorated my desk and also got me lovely gifts; chocolate, crackers, a gift card toward RED LOBSTER, and a little portable hand sanitizer to strap onto my purse with additional scents.
  • Cupcakes from my friend at work also- let’s not forget those little lovelies!
  • With my Birthday money this year I decided to go out and buy myself all new undergarments and socks- believe it or not, there is nothing like new socks!  I am going to pack up all the old to make room for the new and am so grateful!  That’s what I chose to spend my Birthday cash on and it worked out perfectly.  I spent nearly every last dime.  I went to The Avenue, to Costco for the socks, and to Walmart for my new nickers 🙂  TMI?  TMI!  LOLOLOLOLOL!
  • A sweet call from my daughter ~ just to remind me that she’s thinking about me and wishing me a happy day.
  • A song on my voice mail, from my friend Kate – singing me “Happy Birthday” – like she always does.  This year, another call from my mother singing on my voice mail the funniest rendition of “Happy Birthday” everrrrr.  I just pictured Mariah Carrey’s fluttering hands as she went up and down to my name, singing joyfully and making me LMAO!  Go Mama!  Made my day.
  • My dinner tonight at work is a special sandwich from a nearby Deli that I love made to order by my husband; he knows just what I like and let’s not forget the Reese’s Peanut Butter hearts.

I had such a lovely day and feel so blessed to have such a beautiful, thoughtful, loving family and friends that care so much!  Life is good.

bday2 bday1

a11111

30 Day Blog Writing Challenge: Day 24

Day 24.  What is your favorite movie and why?

Oh gosh, this is a hard one.  I have a few all time favorite movies but I think one of my tippy top ones is “Something’s Gotta Give” with Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton.

somethingsgottagive

Harry Sanborn (Jack Nicholson) is a perennial playboy with a libido much younger than his years. During what was to have been a romantic weekend with his latest infatuation, Marin (Amanda Peet), at her mother’s Hamptons beach house, Harry develops chest pains. He winds up being nursed by Marin’s reluctant mother Erica Barry (Diane Keaton), a successful, divorced New York playwright. In the process, Harry develops more heart pangs — the romantic kind — for Erica, an age-appropriate woman whom he finds beguiling. However, some habits die hard. When Harry hesitates, his charming thirtysomething doctor (Keanu Reeves) steps in and starts to pursue Erica. And Harry, who has always had the world on a string, finds his life unraveling.

I adore Diane Keaton’s performance and rank her up there with one of my all time favorite actresses.  This movie made me laugh, and made me cry.  It’s the sweetest form of sincerity the way the roles were played to perfection.  And when Diane’s character breaks down and cries, and cries, and cries, then cries some more- I was right there with her crying and then laughing my ass off.

Jack Nicholson is the perfect little dirty old man in the film and a wonderful scamp.  I love it when he develops feelings for Diane’s character but has never had feelings for someone in his own age group before and doesn’t know what to do with himself.  Too funny.

It’s definitely a love story and a feel good movie.  I highly recommend watching it with a big bowl of popcorn.

writingchallenge

a11111